Does Parenting ever Get Easier?

[A Christian mother’s perspective]

Alright friends, I’m diving right into my feelings here. Parenting is hard. It is so, so very hard. 

I will begin by stating the absolute blessing and gift from God my children are to me. The joy and love they bring me is insurmountable to any I have ever felt before them. With that acknowledged….

Parenting is still hard. 

Physically.

Emotionally.

Spiritually. 

The hardest thing I’ve ever done. 

Physically our bodies are put to the test. I’m not even referencing the beginning when a woman endures pregnancy, labor, and the healing process we then undergo while nurturing the needs of our precious, yet completely dependent newborn. That topic deserves an entire post to itself. Let’s skip to the no sleeping part. We parents experience our share of sleepless nights. Perhaps at best it’s a few nights here and there of inconsistent sleep. At worst, it’s an entire season of hardly any sleep at all. Sleeplessness can arrive at any stage of parenting: tending newborns learning their new world, comforting toddlers afraid of the dark, soothing children suffering growing pains, or worrying over teen and adult children. No matter when we’re lacking adequate rest, it seems like it will never end. The sleep deprived version of ourselves can resemble something less and less human if we’re not careful. Physical fatigue can leave us cranky, without patience, and with less than needed motivation to care for ourselves and our homes. Important pieces vital to being at our best for our children seem to be lost in the haze of forced insomnia. The dark circles under our eyes, not only a reminder of just how tired we are, but the unifying trademark any parent recognizes in another. 

Emotionally parenting can be every bit as tough, if not even tougher than the physical side of parenting. As parents we can be guilty of pushing ourselves to our mental brink. We overanalyze every inconspicuous interaction, worry about the smallest details, and even the most laid-back natured among us can be reduced to dramatic inclinations when it comes to our children. This path leads us straight to our old acquaintance, Physical Fatigue’s friend, Emotional Exhaustion. As if we don’t put enough weight on our shoulders to carry, enter our children. Tailored mini-versions of ourselves custom designed to know our every trigger. They are so incredibly intelligent. They effortlessly learn our exact buttons and just by simply being themselves, push those buttons. Often. It feels as though we’re running an uphill marathon. You can’t slow down or stop to breathe a full breath or you will lose. We have to remain smarter, sharper, quicker, one step ahead at all times. The emotional exhaustion that accompanies parenting is seemingly endless; perhaps not even seemingly. It may in fact just be endless. We can only pray we escape with minimal gray hairs to accompany the “all-natural” under eye makeup we’re already wearing. 

And the last, but heaviest of the exhaustions: Spiritual Sapping. We carry the weight of not only our souls, but those of our children as well. We’re called to be disciples in our homes, leading a life that brings glory and honor to God, a life exemplifying Jesus’ teachings, a light bright and evident for all around us to see, especially our children. And I fail. I fail miserably and I fail often. Some days I invite God into my motherhood as soon as I open my eyes. Other days I forget until a weak moment when I seek God’s forgiveness or a luke-warm day when I coast by and don’t remember Him until my night time prayers when I’m about to close my eyes for sleep. The days I ask God to be a part of my parenting undoubtedly go smoother than the days I leave Him out. Those are the days I am most grateful for God’s faithfulness. His unfailing love is waiting for me even on the days I forget Him. And knowing that He is with me even when I don’t realize it makes the trials of parenting a little easier to face. 

These exhaustions alone are enough to leave us weary; combined they are crippling. When we try to carry the heavy load of parenting on our own, we will be continuously depleted until we are left a shriveled, disheveled husk. With God, through prayer and spending time in scripture, we can invite Him into our parenthood. He will help us bear the weight that without him will crush us. 

So to answer the question “does parenting ever get easier?” I’ve concluded the short answer is no it does not get easier, it changes. The hardships change, our children change, we change. But when we partner with God, we handle those hardships more gracefully and we are changed for good. God’s steadfast faithfulness betters us, a loving gift to us and our very exhausting children. 

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