Grace
“You handled it so gracefully.”
No, I didn’t. I slowly died inside.
Withered away with a smile I prayed those around me couldn’t see through.
I lied so prettily with “I’m fines” that even I was convinced it was truth.
But I was lying, lying in an anguished grave dug with life clenching claw marks that uselessly deepened the grave instead of digging me out.
And as I surrendered;
As I gave up the last pieces of me that desperately grasped for control,
He came.
Just as you would imagine a savior, everything one should be.
He gently grabbed my hands and began to pull me.
A warmth began to spread in my heart.
The first warmth I had felt since I began falling into that icy grave.
This warmth was light; it was hope.
The savior told me to trust Him and all would be as it should.
And it would be good.
”Will you trust me?” He asked.
“Yes” I said, as it was the only answer that made sense.
The warmth burst from my heart, a bright light full of love for all to see.
The savior raised me the last few inches up and out of that despairing place.
I sucked in a deep breath full of life giving air that I knew came from Him;
The easiest breath I had ever breathed.
And I began to live.
So no, I didn’t handle it gracefully. He did.
